Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
