I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
