Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
