I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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