he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I love you.
Bad choice
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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