thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
