I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
