I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
