I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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