i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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