I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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