O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
