this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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