Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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