1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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