i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
