never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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