sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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