Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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