And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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