I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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