If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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