That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
