You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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