Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
