was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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