Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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