I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
