Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
is that a dick in a sweater?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
