Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
