So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
