Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
