yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
