the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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