oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
