no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
