Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
