Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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