Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
