Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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