Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
