Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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