Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
