Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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