she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
