My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Drunk is not a location!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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