the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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