Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize