that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
