I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just threw up on my dentist
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
