He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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