it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
