he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
