Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
