hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
