Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
