I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
