Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize