Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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