mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
