Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
