I need help removing her.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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