so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize