You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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