I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
