Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
