Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
