Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
