I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
