I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
