Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
