I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
