its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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