So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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